S is for Sabotage

By the time this post is published, it will be months later.  But I want to talk about how we sabotage ourselves.

You all know about my weight loss journey.  My ups, my downs, my stagnated progress.  Sometimes, a small gain just happens even when you're working really hard and other times, you step on the scale at a meeting and, well, you just know.  You know exactly what you did to yourself this week.  You can say, "It's swelling." or "I don't know what happened." or "It must be muscle gain."  But, girl, you *know*.  You can lie to the app and your friend, but you *cannot* lie to yourself.

The scale at my meeting is consistently about 4 pounds higher than at home.  It stinks, but it's a fact.  So, one week, I was almost in *Onederland* at home and I knew, that week I'd be hitting it.  In fact, the day after weigh in I weighed in at 199.8!  It had been a good 3 years, maybe more since I was under 200.  I was pretty excited.  And then I spent the *entire* week stuffing my face.  It was horrific.  I couldn't stop.  I didn't *want* to stop, even though I knew I was going to be so angry at myself all week.  And I would seriously kick myself on Saturday.

My heart hurts for the girl who sometimes hates herself so much that she sabotages her health and happiness like this.  I'm hoping when this posts, it will be such a long ago bunch of silliness.  I hope I will be able to say I didn't do this again.  Hopefully.

Don't hurt yourselves.  Love yourselves.

Homeschool Rescue ~ A Homeschool Crew Review

It seems like most Mom Blogs lean either to the bright-and-sunny-everything-is-awesome side or, in an effort to be "real," take a darkly humorous look at the foibles of momming and the pitfalls of running our homeschools.  I look for blogs with balance to follow.  I try to be a blog with balance.  And I'm here to say, sometimes homeschooling is *hard.*  Sometimes, it's super hard and you just want to throw in the towel.  Now, there comes a time, when that is exactly what has to happen.  But more often than not, it isn't what you want, it isn't what the kids want, and it isn't what God wants.  So, what do you do when you are struggling to stay afloat?  Reassess your situation.

I am always thinking about doing just that.  I know I need some direction and support, I just am not exactly sure what to do.  I'm the kind of girl who needs a "how."  I have so many times said, "Yes, but how?" to so many people on so many topics.  I really benefit from that guidance.  And that's where Homeschool Rescue comes in.  Seems like I have been following Only Passionate Curiosity for quite some time.  Long before I was a Homeschool Crewbie.  Heather has designed an amazing online tutorial that walks me step by step through everything I need to reassess, rewrite, and revitalize our homeschool.  This course is an amazing homeschool parent resource.


What exactly is Homeschool Rescue?
With Homeschool Rescue, you receive *lifetime* access to

• all of Heather's modules (that's videos, worksheets, and resource lists). - One great feature (outside of all the actual content) is that you do not have to sit and watch each video.  There are options to download the audio or the transcripts of each video's topics.
• planners and an accountability pack for helping students learn to work independently.
• a super exclusive Homeschool Rescue Facebook group. -  I found the group to be very helpful.  You have direct access to Heather as well as other homeschool moms who have completed the course or are working right alongside you.  Everyone is moving along at their own pace, but the topics that come up can benefit any one of us.
• a 60 day checklist and schedule. -  But don't worry.  It is a suggested schedule that will guide you through each step.  You won't need to follow it exactly or stay at the same pace.  Some modules just might be a breeze for you, while you'll want to spend a lot longer on others.  Every homeschool is different and we all have different needs at any given time.
• and you can even email Heather. - She is fantastic and is such a helpful soul.

The five modules are

1. Triage Your Homeschool
2. Time Management Systems and Organization
3. Curriculum Planning and Organization
4. Setting Students up for Success
5. Teaching Older Students 

Each module consists of three, four, or five lessons.  Some of the lessons will have you creating a mission statement for your homeschool, compiling a list of ten things your child must know before he graduates, and setting up a chore system.  All very sensible assignments, with no fluff to waste your valuable time.

1. The big screen where everything happens: Heather's video, slides, etc.
2. Run time for the video (this won't include your homework).
3. A synopsis of the lesson. 
4. A link to download your audio to play on portable devices.
5. A link to download the transcript to read on your screen or print and put in a binder.
6. Note pages show each slide of the video lesson and have lots of room for, well, notes.
7. This is where you find your homework and other resources Heather has put together for you.  Somethings you'll find here are books for further study, sanity savers, practical helps, and charts.

I liked to sneak off to my bedroom with my laptop and watch the videos in peace.  That worked great when Dad was home, otherwise I just watched them in my usual computery spot at the kitchen table after bedtime.  I really preferred to watch the videos over the audio, though solo trips were nice to listen to the audio in the car.

Though the videos were my preferred method to use Homeschool Rescue, I like being able to print the transcripts of each lesson and keep them in a binder with my "homework" and the schedule.  It makes me feel organized and that I actually accomplished something. 

I found a couple of things very helpful as I'm moving through the modules.  They aren't easy, but you'll get way more out of the program if you follow this advice.

• Be completely honest with yourself.  This might make you a bit squirmy, but you can't move forward if you aren't.  No one is looking over your shoulder.  No one is grading you.  No one is going to knock on your door and demand an accounting.  Just face the facts.

• And then, please don't beat yourself up.  Give yourself grace and do what you can to make the necessary changes.  Don't look back.  You can't change the past, but you can change course, and head for calmer seas and sunnier skies.

I remember in Module 1 Lesson 1, I may have been projecting a bit while playing the video.  In the segment on dealing with burnout, Heather said, "Take your kids to the library on a Monday..." and I thought, "... and pick them up on Friday."  Ha ha ha ha.  Hmmm....


Now, instead of dreaming about that big yellow bus (the Freedom Bus, as my husband calls it), I'm working hard on shaping our homeschool the way we want it to be.  I can see myself using Homeschool Rescue as a homeschool check up each spring.  Now is the time that we are worn out and so over school.  We have a bit of spring fever.  Paperwork has been submitted to the state.  We school year round, because we work best with a schedule, but we feel kind of done.  Homeschool Rescue is helping us work through all those issues and will be a wonderful guide to refresh our school each year.

My favorite Todd Wilson comic, because THIS Jodi can relate to THAT Jodi.

If you take the summer off from lessons, this is a perfect time to work through Heather's lessons.  And if you don't take off the summer, you can still take this course, it just may take you a bit longer to complete it.

Since Heather is offering a "live class," a few times a year, the course is available to purchase now through the end of May.  It will then go live for June and July.  You will want to take this course now, even if you feel like you've got this covered.  There are off days, off seasons, and off attitudes and you will never know *when they will strike*.  By working through this program now, you will have a plan in place for most of the things we get derailed or burnt out by.

This workshop is great for new homeschoolers who want to develop "the plan" now.  And it's also perfect for moms who've been pulling this gig for a number of years and either just need to freshen up a bit, or need a complete overhaul.  Homeschool dads who join will not feel out of place, the gang is there on Facebook to help every parent.

Heather is offering a FREE WORKSHOP on Wednesday, May 17 or Thursday, May18.  Just go sign up and choose your date.



So, to sum up my thoughts on Homeschool Rescue.
This online course walks you step by step through planning and organizing your homeschool, including making plans for days when you. just. can't. There are videos, planners, lessons to help you prioritize and focus on what you want from homeschooling for your family. When you sign up, you get lifetime access. I think that setting the whole plan up is kind of time consuming, but it's better than spending the time putting out the same fires over and over all year long. Once you complete it, it would be easy to go in and tweak it each year as the kids grow and your family's needs shift.


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I'm such a Dork.

I was just looking over a few things on my other blogs.  I'm kind of trying to figure out how and if I want to combine the whole shebang into a single blog.  It just makes more sense now than it used to.  Anyway, over at Learning to Be a Light, I found this sitting in my drafts.



It's dorky, I know.  Today, after leaving a phone message for my own dad and before I called my stepdad, I called God.  On the phone.  Weird, huh?  I dialed a number I thought sounded godly and spoke to Him like I was leaving Him a message.  I spilled my guts.  I cried.  I asked Him to call me back.  The phone hasn't rung all night.  Bummer.

But I know he's there.  And He heard me.

It might be time to call my Heavenly Dad.   "Hello?  It's me again."

My Journey ~ Weight Loss September 2016

I was sick for a weigh in this month.  That stunk.  I ended up not knowing my final September weight was.  I did get one of the charms for my key ring that I was waiting for.  10% y'all!  That's pretty neat.

Some people have asked what new things I tried each week for the Weight Watchers Try-A-Thon.
The foods included moussaka and spanakopita (both of which I bought at the farmer's market) and squash.  Activities I tried were hula hooping (which I've learned to do just in the last year, but hadn't done in a while) and canoeing across a lake with a boat full of kids and one of the co-op dads.  The canoeing was actually terrifying.  Lakes are yucky.  Rivers are yucky.  Ponds are yucky.  The ocean is probably yucky.  Pools.  I like pools.  But I pulled off the canoeing without terrifying kiddos with my own fears and without dumping anyone.

My Journey ~ Weight Loss August 2016

Well, August ended up being a completely wasted month.  The second week, I kind of pooped out and stopped tracking points.  I definitely do better when I track.  It isn't difficult, really, especially with the Weight Watchers app.  I just didn't feel like it.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't give myself a free month.  Boy!  That would have been awful!  In week two, I did gain half a pound and spent the last two weeks getting rid of it.  I ended up exactly where I started.  Pleh!

I did get some new bling.  The summer TRY-a-thon runner and a 16 week tag were added this month.  Try-A-Thon was fun.  It was all about trying something new every week of the summer.  You could try a food, fun activity, or exercise.

But I'm ready for September and hoping to add two more *very special* charms to my key ring.  Bring it!

My Journey ~ Weight Loss Month Three

Well, I'm ready to reveal what I've been leaving the house for every Saturday morning for nearly three months.  Pssst...  It isn't just for the farmers' market.  Or the Greek food.  Or the kid-free time.  Though that's all a bonus.

I've been attending Weight Watchers meetings.  While I am happy to say I'm down TWENTY ONE pounds as of July 23 (the last time I weighed in), I am not thrilled about revealing what I currently weigh and am downright ashamed to admit how much I weighed at the start.  My "consolation" is that the scale at WW is consistently four pounds higher than the scale at home.  I'll probably hit Onederland at home a week or two before it becomes official.  For those of you who don't know what Onederland is, it means the number on the scale begins with a one.

I'm so close to my 10% award, I can taste it.  I'm pretty sure it is zero SmartPoints!  I'll also get my 25# award pretty quickly after that.  And at the end of the summer, a Try-A-Thon award that is just for fun!  I'm struggling a bit this week.  Well, I have a bad day or two every week.  I'm very thankful for my weekly points, because I pretty much use them nearly every week on the two days I really have a rough time.

I try to make my treats count.  I love chocolate.  I really do.  And I've learned not to waste the few points I allow for goodies to go to waist waste on mediocre foods.  Some of my favorites are Dove ice cream miniatures.  They are three points each.  A serving is five little ice creams.  BUT DON'T EAT A SERVING.  Seriously, that's half the points for a whole day!  I also like Ghirardelli and Lindt chocolates.  Finding out how many points donuts and soft cookies are broke my heart, but watching my weight and eating healthier and sensibly is all about making decisions.  Sometimes those decisions are difficult.

I'd like to encourage you, if you've been contemplating a change for the better, to do it now.  Don't wait.  If I had started this journey a year and a half ago, I'd probably be at goal and definitely would have had less weight to lose in the first place.  Don't delay.  Join Weight Watchers or choose another tool you love and get started. 



PS In the interest of full disclosure, that's a referral link to WW.  If you join through that link, we each get a $20 credit to spend in the WW store.  I didn't write this post for that purpose, but it seemed silly to write about my journey without sharing the link.