Knights in Training ~ A Book Review

Raise the bar and boys will reach for it.

So, I have these four punks that call me mom.  Sometimes, I don't understand them.  I wasn't the girliest girl, but I still struggle to understand ten year old boys.  I mean, I do not get their humor.  Not even the humor that doesn't involve bodily functions.  Thankfully, they have a dad who...  I also sometimes don't understand.  HA!  So, at least I can assume they are normal boys.  Well, normal for this family.

I have a couple of guys who love to be helpers.  They like to hold doors open for people.  They carry groceries from the car.  They will even fight over who gets to be the helper.  Hey, they're a work in progress.  Even though I think we're managing to teach some niceties to them, I really want something that is more intentional than holding doors and saying excuse me after the burp.

Recently, I was invited to read Knights in Training: Ten Principles for Raising Honorable, Courageous, and Compassionate Boys.  The author, Heather Haupt, is raising three knights of her own, as well as a princess.  I've really enjoyed the book and I have so many ideas now for guiding these baby men of mine.

The book is divided into several sections.

• The Boy-Raising Adventure
• The Chivalry Challenge
• Continuing the Quest

 In The Boy-Raising Adventure, Heather talks about just that.  Being counter-culture at this time is frowned upon.  But there's no reason to fall into the trap of modern boyhood, with it's unhealthy and sometimes inappropriate media addiction, rampant potty humor, instant gratification, and the desire to extend adolescence far into the 20s and beyond.  Teaching our children to be independent, to care about others, and to strengthen family relationships are some of the most important lessons we can provide.

Heather "throws down the gauntlet" and invites us to take the chivalry challenge.  Here, she covers the components of The Knights Code.

1. Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
2. Obey those in authority over you.
3. Stand against injustice and evil.
4. Defend the weak and protect them.
5. Respect the honor of women.
6. Refrain from wanton giving of offense.
7. Speak the truth at all times.
8. Be generous and willing to share.
9. Persevere and finish the task at hand.
10. Pursue excellence in all you do.

Now, our young men are well on the way to becoming a knight, or are they?  Becoming a knight took many long years of intense training starting when a child was about six years old.  This is a long term project that will require commitment of you as well as from your kiddos.  You'll see them grow beyond the limits you imagined, if you can give them something to really strive for.  We are creating a movement, a future full of chivalrous young men, doing what is right and good.

Heather has included a book and resource list for further general study and also for each specific tenet of the knight's code.  It contains picture books, chapter books, film, and audio dramas.  Some of them have certainly been enjoyed in our home already.  Being intentional, while we savor them again.

When we see young men behaving abhorrently, or particularly kind, I try to point that out to the boys and get them mindfully thinking about the kind of men they want to become.  They need to hear, "Do!" and see positive examples as much or even more than having poor examples pointed out.  I like to try to get them thinking critically, as well, by asking a better way to handle certain situations.

I'm already planning out a curriculum for my kiddos and thinking about inviting other guys over to join them in becoming modern knights, doing chivalrous deeds, having honor and respect for others, and setting their eyes on God.  I hope *you* will join the chivalry movement!

About the author:

Heather Haupt is the mother of three knights-in-training and a spunky little princess. She wants to be intentional during these years of parenting and raise children who will make a difference in this world. Heather is an educator, writer, and popular speaker. Recognizing the brevity of childhood and the power of a parent’s influence, she encourages and equips parents towards intentional parenting, pursuing God, and delighting in the adventure of learning. She is the author of Knights-in-Training: Ten Principles for Raising Honorable, Courageous, and Compassionate Boys as well as The Ultimate Guide to Brain Breaks. She writes at www.heatherhaupt.com.

Read our author interview.


You can find Heather Haupt on social media.

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Pinterest

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.  

I was not required to write an honest review nor was I compensated in any other way.  

All opinions I have expressed are my own.

Heather Haupt ~ Author Interview

It has been a real pleasure to read Heather Haupt's book Knights in Training: Ten Principles for Raising Honorable, Courageous, and Compassionate Boys.  I'll be telling you all about it this week, as well as all the ideas I have swimming around in my head for training my own valiant knights!  In the meantime, I thought you'd like to learn a bit about Heather and what inspired her to write this wonderful book.

What inspired you to write Knights in Training?

Coming up with the idea for knight training was birthed out of a desire to be intentional in raising my boys. When I saw that their love for everything battle meshed well with my discover that chivalry was far more than how a man treats a woman. I knew I wanted to embark on a season of knight training and pursuing living by this code that for the knight’s of old was an entire way of living. Little did I realize that embarking on this initial season of knight training would alter the way we viewed our role as parents and forever shape the way my boys viewed these years of childhood. I wrote the book to really flesh out what it can look like to celebrate boys for who they are and cast a vision for a life of adventure embodying the spirit of a modern-day knight. Boys are getting a bad rap these days. Part of that stems from how we approach educating boys as well as a lack of understanding and appreciation for what makes them unique. Our world needs good men and my aim with this book is to strengthen the resolve and equip parents to reach their boys by appreciating who they are and how they are wired as well as inspire them to become the men they are meant to become.

What was your main goal in writing Knights in Training?

I wrote Knights in Training to help parents tap into the heart of their boys and utilize a boy’s inner dreams and drives to propel them into a future of meaning and purpose. We all love our kids and want to be purposeful during this season of childhood – enjoying the little moments as well as preparing them to succeed in life, but sometimes in the busyness of life we lose sight of HOW to make that happen. My goal here is to provide a common language and a roadmap for this exciting journey of boyhood so that one boy and one family at a time, we can restore civility and courageous compassion to our communities. 

 

Which part of researching Knights in Training was the most personally interesting to you?

I’m a history buff, so delving into some of the primary documents and really discovering how this idea of chivalry took shape and force during the middle ages was fascinating to me. Delving into the past also reminded me that there is nothing new under the sun. We see the same challenges with human nature, our bent to wander from the Lord, from the right path as well as the importance of inspiration and ideals in captivating our imagination and calling us back to the way we ought to go. When we step into the past, we discover that young men in the middle ages struggled with choosing the easy path, that younger sons in the nobility lost sight of their purpose and meaning and were tempted to take the easy path of living a life of listlessness and apathy and yet how deep down they all wanted to find purpose and meaning. 

Is there anything you found particularly challenging about writing this book? 

The entire process… It was a daily mental challenge to stay the course, to pray through my doubts, and hold strong. There is so much that burned inside of me to share and figuring out the most effective way to communicate that was a challenge. I walked a lot during the writing phase to wrestle through how to effectively convey everything that I wanted to include in the book.

Did you always have a talent for writing, or is it something you wanted and needed to work hard to achieve?

“Writer” was not on my short list of things I wanted to do with my life. I write not because I love writing, but because I have important things that burn deep in my heart and mind that simply must be written. Childhood is fleeting and I write to remind parents to make the most of this short yet full season. As parents, we have a profound opportunity to shape the culture of our home and inspire our children to embrace important values that will serve them for the rest of their lives!  

Writing does not come easy to me. I never dreamed of being a writer as a child. In fact, I hated writing growing up, but my mom refused to give up on me. She kept pushing me and finding new and creative ways to try to get me to write. While the actual process of writing was painful, I have always had a heart to communicate and weave an engaging story. I was just a late bloomer and having that love for storytelling and communicating meld with the act of writing did not take place until my college years. And then my mom and I marveled when I wrote for a living before having children. I’ve found that I can never write just to write. I must be really passionate about what I am communicating. Once I’ve tapped into passion and purpose, I’m set. Maybe that is why it is so important to me that I connect my kids to their own passions and purpose in life!

What are you reading right now? What authors (living or dead) have influenced you most?  

As a family, we recently listened to the entire unabridged Chronicles of Narnia. I was blown away anew about the power of narrative to communicate important messages, to inspire our moral imagination and bring out the desire to live full out for everything God has for us. So yes, I’m a C.S. Lewis fan. I also love reading science related books. Dr. Leonard Sax has written so much on gender and boys specifically. His writing has really helped me embrace everything that makes my boys uniquely boy!

What writer(s) have had the greatest influence on you?

I love to read many different genre’s and types of books. So here is an eclectic list of three authors who have influenced my writing and appreciation for life. 

• CS Lewis – I love how C.S. Lewis uses the magic of story to communicate profound truths in a way that inspires others to embrace these truths without even realizing it. Story is powerful and through literature we can change the world.

• Ann Voskamp – While we have very different writing styles, I love how she weaves word and inspires others to make a difference in their homes, in their community and in the world. Her writing has given a voice to my longing to live a transparent and consistent life in front of my children and my community that reflects my core beliefs and values.

• Leonard Sax – While I love to be inspired, I also want to know the facts. What does the research say and how can I think rationally about how to live my life. Dr. Leonard Sax’s writings have met that need to think about things rationally and changed the way I view and appreciate my boys.

What was your favorite book as a child?  

The Tripod Trilogy by John Christopher. I love books about fighting impossible odds against impossible foes because they convey that ordinary people have profound purpose and need to rise to the call when the situation arises. The Tripod Trilogy had that in spades. It is a book set in a futuristic setting where “tripods” have come to rule and humanity is decimated. To keep people docile, they are capped at 13 to prevent them from thinking for themselves. This trilogy follows several kids as they flee the impending capping ceremony and find themselves caught up in a fight to free humanity from world-wide slavery. As a kid, I was inspired to think for myself and be ready to right for all that was good, right, and true.

How did you get your start in writing/getting published?

It started with blogging. I cringe when I look back at my first blog posts. You really do improve the more you write and I’m grateful for the years of tapping out blog posts and delving into writing about things I was passionate about and looking for ways to winsomely communicate my perspectives on parenting and child development.

My first book was birthed out of a blog post on how movement wires the brain to learn and the importance of taking brain breaks. I went the self-publishing route with that, starting with an ebook and then taking it to print myself. During this season, I started writing more for magazines as opportunities cropped up.

Then my health collapsed and I did little else aside from being a wife, mom and home educator (which in itself is a very full life), until God revealed that He had other plans for our family in this new book, Knights in Training.

This book was birthed from a blogpost that I wrote in the Spring of 2011. We were delving into the middle ages and I figured we’d delve into chivalry too. When I discovered that chivalry was more than merely how a man treats a woman, but was rather an entire code of conduct, a way of living – I was inspired to delve into the character development aspects that “knight training” could afford. I printed off these 10 aspects from the code of chivalry in a cool font and decided to blog about our adventure and provide a free printable for any other parents that wanted to delve into knight training too.

A reporter from the New York Times contacted me. She was writing an article on teaching manners and wanted to interview me about that post I had written years earlier on our chivalry challenge. I’ve done my share of media interviews, so I didn’t really think much about it. The day before we left for Arizona for the holidays, the reporter emailed me to inform me the article was live online that day and would come out in print the following day in the Times. When I hopped online to read the article, I noticed the hyperlink to my blog and frantically set about to freshen up that old blog post so people coming over could find it. I flung it out there the following morning before grabbing my keys and setting off on our 15 hour drive to AZ.

Like any blogger, I enjoyed my 15 minutes of “fame” as traffic exploded for a few days and then forgot about it as we enjoyed time with family and friends until a few days later when I received a strange email in my inbox. Long story, short – an editor from Penguin Random House reached out to me about writing a book. After prayer, my family and I decided to make the leap, as my mind swirled with the possibilities and the vision for the book really took root! So all in a year’s time, I found a wonderful book agent, wrote my first book proposal, finished up our homeschool “year” and speaking commitments before settling down that summer to write in the margins of life.

Knights in Training was birthed out of that effort!

What else do you want readers to know? Consider your likes and dislikes, interests and hobbies, your favorite ways to relax — whatever comes to mind.

I love watching kids at play. It fascinates and delights me at a very deep level. I’m always in awe at how they work out the process of growing up, of being brave, and of becoming through their pretend play. I love to unwind by taking hikes with my family and sitting back and watching them. My favorite time of year is when we all escape to a cabin for a week to play games, explore, unplug and reconnect as a family! In a constantly plugged in world, I love these opportunities to step away from the craziness and just ‘be’ with the people I love most.

Thank you so much, Heather, for writing Knights in Training and inspiring me.

Heather Haupt is the mother of three knights-in-training and a spunky little princess. She wants to be intentional during these years of parenting and raise children who will make a difference in this world. Heather is an educator, writer, and popular speaker. Recognizing the brevity of childhood and the power of a parent’s influence, she encourages and equips parents towards intentional parenting, pursuing God, and delighting in the adventure of learning. She is the author of Knights-in-Training: Ten Principles for Raising Honorable, Courageous, and Compassionate Boys as well as The Ultimate Guide to Brain Breaks. She writes at www.heatherhaupt.com. 

Homeschool Rescue ~ A Homeschool Crew Review

It seems like most Mom Blogs lean either to the bright-and-sunny-everything-is-awesome side or, in an effort to be "real," take a darkly humorous look at the foibles of momming and the pitfalls of running our homeschools.  I look for blogs with balance to follow.  I try to be a blog with balance.  And I'm here to say, sometimes homeschooling is *hard.*  Sometimes, it's super hard and you just want to throw in the towel.  Now, there comes a time, when that is exactly what has to happen.  But more often than not, it isn't what you want, it isn't what the kids want, and it isn't what God wants.  So, what do you do when you are struggling to stay afloat?  Reassess your situation.

I am always thinking about doing just that.  I know I need some direction and support, I just am not exactly sure what to do.  I'm the kind of girl who needs a "how."  I have so many times said, "Yes, but how?" to so many people on so many topics.  I really benefit from that guidance.  And that's where Homeschool Rescue comes in.  Seems like I have been following Only Passionate Curiosity for quite some time.  Long before I was a Homeschool Crewbie.  Heather has designed an amazing online tutorial that walks me step by step through everything I need to reassess, rewrite, and revitalize our homeschool.  This course is an amazing homeschool parent resource.


What exactly is Homeschool Rescue?
With Homeschool Rescue, you receive *lifetime* access to

• all of Heather's modules (that's videos, worksheets, and resource lists). - One great feature (outside of all the actual content) is that you do not have to sit and watch each video.  There are options to download the audio or the transcripts of each video's topics.
• planners and an accountability pack for helping students learn to work independently.
• a super exclusive Homeschool Rescue Facebook group. -  I found the group to be very helpful.  You have direct access to Heather as well as other homeschool moms who have completed the course or are working right alongside you.  Everyone is moving along at their own pace, but the topics that come up can benefit any one of us.
• a 60 day checklist and schedule. -  But don't worry.  It is a suggested schedule that will guide you through each step.  You won't need to follow it exactly or stay at the same pace.  Some modules just might be a breeze for you, while you'll want to spend a lot longer on others.  Every homeschool is different and we all have different needs at any given time.
• and you can even email Heather. - She is fantastic and is such a helpful soul.

The five modules are

1. Triage Your Homeschool
2. Time Management Systems and Organization
3. Curriculum Planning and Organization
4. Setting Students up for Success
5. Teaching Older Students 

Each module consists of three, four, or five lessons.  Some of the lessons will have you creating a mission statement for your homeschool, compiling a list of ten things your child must know before he graduates, and setting up a chore system.  All very sensible assignments, with no fluff to waste your valuable time.

1. The big screen where everything happens: Heather's video, slides, etc.
2. Run time for the video (this won't include your homework).
3. A synopsis of the lesson. 
4. A link to download your audio to play on portable devices.
5. A link to download the transcript to read on your screen or print and put in a binder.
6. Note pages show each slide of the video lesson and have lots of room for, well, notes.
7. This is where you find your homework and other resources Heather has put together for you.  Somethings you'll find here are books for further study, sanity savers, practical helps, and charts.

I liked to sneak off to my bedroom with my laptop and watch the videos in peace.  That worked great when Dad was home, otherwise I just watched them in my usual computery spot at the kitchen table after bedtime.  I really preferred to watch the videos over the audio, though solo trips were nice to listen to the audio in the car.

Though the videos were my preferred method to use Homeschool Rescue, I like being able to print the transcripts of each lesson and keep them in a binder with my "homework" and the schedule.  It makes me feel organized and that I actually accomplished something. 

I found a couple of things very helpful as I'm moving through the modules.  They aren't easy, but you'll get way more out of the program if you follow this advice.

• Be completely honest with yourself.  This might make you a bit squirmy, but you can't move forward if you aren't.  No one is looking over your shoulder.  No one is grading you.  No one is going to knock on your door and demand an accounting.  Just face the facts.

• And then, please don't beat yourself up.  Give yourself grace and do what you can to make the necessary changes.  Don't look back.  You can't change the past, but you can change course, and head for calmer seas and sunnier skies.

I remember in Module 1 Lesson 1, I may have been projecting a bit while playing the video.  In the segment on dealing with burnout, Heather said, "Take your kids to the library on a Monday..." and I thought, "... and pick them up on Friday."  Ha ha ha ha.  Hmmm....


Now, instead of dreaming about that big yellow bus (the Freedom Bus, as my husband calls it), I'm working hard on shaping our homeschool the way we want it to be.  I can see myself using Homeschool Rescue as a homeschool check up each spring.  Now is the time that we are worn out and so over school.  We have a bit of spring fever.  Paperwork has been submitted to the state.  We school year round, because we work best with a schedule, but we feel kind of done.  Homeschool Rescue is helping us work through all those issues and will be a wonderful guide to refresh our school each year.

My favorite Todd Wilson comic, because THIS Jodi can relate to THAT Jodi.

If you take the summer off from lessons, this is a perfect time to work through Heather's lessons.  And if you don't take off the summer, you can still take this course, it just may take you a bit longer to complete it.

Since Heather is offering a "live class," a few times a year, the course is available to purchase now through the end of May.  It will then go live for June and July.  You will want to take this course now, even if you feel like you've got this covered.  There are off days, off seasons, and off attitudes and you will never know *when they will strike*.  By working through this program now, you will have a plan in place for most of the things we get derailed or burnt out by.

This workshop is great for new homeschoolers who want to develop "the plan" now.  And it's also perfect for moms who've been pulling this gig for a number of years and either just need to freshen up a bit, or need a complete overhaul.  Homeschool dads who join will not feel out of place, the gang is there on Facebook to help every parent.

Heather is offering a FREE WORKSHOP on Wednesday, May 17 or Thursday, May18.  Just go sign up and choose your date.



So, to sum up my thoughts on Homeschool Rescue.
This online course walks you step by step through planning and organizing your homeschool, including making plans for days when you. just. can't. There are videos, planners, lessons to help you prioritize and focus on what you want from homeschooling for your family. When you sign up, you get lifetime access. I think that setting the whole plan up is kind of time consuming, but it's better than spending the time putting out the same fires over and over all year long. Once you complete it, it would be easy to go in and tweak it each year as the kids grow and your family's needs shift.


Find Only Passionate Curiosity on social media.
Facebook 
Twitter 
Pinterest 
Instagram 
Goggle+ 

B is for Breathe

I had a B is for... post half written in my head.  Yes, in my head.  Then my head forgot it.  While trying to remember and going through my regular day, I kept telling myself to breathe.  Just breathe.  And, well now, isn't that a song?  I like music related posts.  Also, I like reminders of things I *should* be doing.  Well, gentle reminders.  And songs can hit you like a ton of bricks and still remind you gently.

In Sesame Street's Follow that Bird! Big Bird is moving to a new home halfway across the country.  All of his friends are giving him sage advice.  My favorite came from Grover.  "Don't forget to breathe.  In *and* out!"  What great advice.  Seriously.  Do you find yourself holding your breath?  Don't do that.  Let it out.  You breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide.  In other words, you inhale the good stuff and exhale the bad stuff.

In the song Breathe by Jonny Diaz, he sings

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at My feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to take it in fill your lungs
The Peace of God that overcomes
Just breathe
Let your weary spirit rest
Lay down what's good and find what's best
Just breathe

1. The Peace of God that overcomes - The peace of Christ surpasses our understanding.  I pray that for each of you.  This is a very tumultuous time for many right now.  Everyone is testing and fighting and accusing.  Let's rest in the Peace of Christ.
2. Lay down what's good and find what's best - This reminds me so much of Martha and Mary.  How often do I forget what is best in favor of what is "right now" (it might not even be that good, just pressing)?  The Lord wanted Martha to breathe in what He was offering and to breathe out the troubles of her mind.

May you find peace and remember to breathe today.  In and out.

 

 

Other B is for... post:  Bitterness

Biblical References:
1. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. KJV Phil 4:7
2. Luke 10:38-42

PunchBug Simon!

Every week when I head to my Weight Watchers meeting, I play a solo game.  Micah and I decided we could save PunchBugs for the kids, *if* we were in the car alone.  We didn't ask for input from the kids, so they have mixed feelings about the game.

No matter which of the two possible ways I head in, I am almost guaranteed to see two PunchBuggies before I get to the meeting.  If I head to the grocery store, there's often one there, plus the random drive by.

I need to remember all the Buggy colors or I can't use them.  Hence my Simon skills.  I keep track of them by repeating the colors periodically to myself as I drive.  Red, red.  Red, red, yellow, green.  Red, red, yellow, green, red, blue, white.  It's a fun way to spend the driving time and torment the boys when I get home.*

*Don't worry.  It's all in good fun.  No one is injured and my brain gets some exercise.

What's a Parent Training Center? And a Book Review

As part of the Parent Training Center blog launch, I have had the opportunity to review Parenting is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.  I love the idea of a heart based parenting approach and this book has been on my short list for a long time.  I think a lot of the Turansky/Miller books were at one time on my short list and are now on my book shelf or Kindle!

I have let bad parenting habits take root, just like the boys have some bad behavior that has become habitual.  They're just automatic reactions and don't require any real thought.  Together, we are working to change these harmful relational patterns.  I have *reasons,* or excuses, for why things get the way they sometimes do, but I know I wouldn't accept those excuses from my boys.  I really can't use them myself.

Parenting is Heart Work is divided into four sections.  Each part starts off with a look at a heart issue from the Bible.  We read about David, Abraham, Nehemiah, and Hezekiah and their struggles in their hearts.  Each of the chapters ends with a moving prayer.  You may use that or use the information covered in the chapter to raise your own prayer.

Part 1: Understanding the Heart
A Heart Story from the Bible
1.   What is the Heart? (Part 1)
2.   What is the Heart? (Part 2)
3.   Will I or Won’t I?
4.   Do It Like You Mean It

Part 2: Connecting With Your Child’s Heart
A Heart Story from the Bible
5.   Emotions Have Feelings Too
6.   Turn on Their Heart Lights
7.   Avoiding Congestive Heart Failure
8.   Making the Connection

Part 3: Working Out Heart Change
A Heart Story from the Bible
9.   Talking to Yourself
10. Teaching Your Child’s Heart
11.  Meditation Management
12.  A Light on the Path to Heart Change

Part 4: Touching Your Child’s Heart
A Heart Story from the Bible
13. Constructive Correction
14. Turn Around for Change
15. Defibrillating Your Child’s Heart
16. Cross Your Heart

Parenting is Heart Work is published by David C Cook.
256 page paperback
Retail $15.99

Why am I telling you about Parenting is Heart Work?  Well, because it is an essential part of every Parent Training Center.  And what is a Parent Training Center?  From the NCBPwebsite:  "It's a new initiative from The National Center for Biblical Parenting.  It is a church that intentionally trains parents, providing resources and tools both for discipleship of believers and for evangelism to families in the community."

The discipleship mandate applies to more than individuals.  Churches can be helping and strengthening their families by equipping them with the tools necessary to reach the hearts of children.  The National Center for Biblical Parenting provides the church with the guidance and support to equip families.

The cost: $200 the first year and $100 each year thereafter.  (The first 20 Early Adopters can receive a discount of $50 using code PTC5D upon checkout.)

Learn more:

Scott Turansky
Joanne Miller
NCBP
Facebook